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Increase the Minimum Wage

In case you haven’t noticed, our American democracy isn’t really run by the people for the people. Unless you count people as American oligarchs, corporate interests, and scum-sucking lobbyists as people. What else would you call a country where its politicians are twelve times richer than the population they rule. I mean, the people who elect them.


It all sounds like a plutocracy to me, but they don’t teach that word in American public schools. I wonder why.

Speaking of lying to get elected and using that position to deepen your own pocket, prices have been rising way before the war in Ukraine. You know what hasn’t risen much since the invasion of Ukraine (or even in the past few decades)? Minimum wage.

$7.25 an hour. That’s what the average human being is worth to American businesses. An hour of labor isn’t worth a movie ticket. Or a container of laundry detergent. What happens when gas prices hit $7.25 a gallon? Wait. I know. We can say that an hour of work from an average American laborer is worth one gallon of gas. Sixty minutes of doing something you hate, but do to gain monetary benefits equals 128 ounces of fossil fuel. Hope those minimum wage workers don’t have to drive to work. That would cause unbelievable mental anguish while being financially crippling. 

With that in mind, it’s definitely harder to work in retail or food service than to sit at a desk all day. Sure, printers never work properly and the typical male boss has the temperament of a toddler, but getting screamed at by mental patients, I mean, customers, when a restaurant runs out of hot sauce sucks way worse than any corporate environment. Retail workers have to deal with other people’s stress because our American society seems to enjoy berating minimum wage workers. They’re worth the least amount of money. They deserve it. Low value. Low pay. Low IQ. Low worth. Poor treatment. The American way. 

Think about how desperate someone must be to accept the lowest amount of pay (legally possible) to work a job where they’re at the mercy of overworked, stressed, and spoiled Americans. 

It’s REALLY hard for me to hear people talk about minimum wage workers. Everyone seems to say the same crap. At least they can find a job. They should have stayed out of jail. They should have laid off the drugs. They should’ve paid more attention in school. They’re stupid. They’re uneducated. They’re lazy.

But so are you. 

All humans overestimate how hard they work.

And how smart they are.

You’re lucky. 

Maybe even luckier than most.

I’m not doubting your hard work or life struggles, but where you start in life has a lot to do with where you end up. Especially for 99% of people in this country. I call them the “have nots.” And in capitalism, only 1% of the population makes it.  Unless of course you believe you’re that special capitalist princess in our perfect capitalist fairy tale world. The type of man who’s going to work his way to the top. No matter what it costs. Humans, the Earth, animals, and children be damned! A man has to earn a living. How else can someone become the poor guy who becomes rich? Or are you the guy who works really hard because he believes everyone can earn a million… oh wait… inflation… everyone can earn a billion dollars with the right efforts! Ha. Americans have a better shot at winning the lottery five times in a row than becoming a billionaire, but I guess we gotta play to win.

Which is why anyone who works forty hours a week deserves a livable wage. Again. Anyone who works forty hours a week deserves a livable wage. This isn’t a debate. This is a statement of fact. If you disagree, I suggest you put on your power tie, jerk off to The Wolf of Wall Street or Glengarry Glen Ross, and get the fuck over yourself. Hustle culture is a cult of American capitalism. No. It’s a drug. That’s even better. If I work one more hour I’ll reach maximum salary gains, bro. Take another hit, you brainwashed monkey. 

I guess it’s offensive to call a bunch of zombified swine less evolved than the average human, but it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. 

In fact, I’m not.

Research suggests “that little productive work occurs after 50 hours per week. In white collar jobs, productivity declines by as much as 25 percent when workers put in 60 hours or more.” Studies show how overworking slowly kills and renders workers unproductive. Read here or here or here or here for more information for your greed addiction. There’s thousands of other articles out there, but the wannabe capitalists seem to think working too much or too hard doesn’t apply to them. The special little boys in the capitalist fairy tale, but as the data demonstrates not only are these hustle monkeys stupid for working more than 40 hours, they’re also putting together trash work. Incompetent and brainwashed, a perfect capitalist slut. 

Worst of all, these clowns put in sixty hours a week to earn bonuses, prizes, the right to be the boss’s little pet, or a promotion. They buy vacations, fancy cars, beautiful homes, and fund secondary revenue streams believing they’re the big winner! Meanwhile, there are poor people working four jobs and seventy hours a week and can’t make ends meet. For the record, making ends meet is a romantic way of saying that these people can’t afford shelter, food, and other basic necessities. Some weeks minimum wage workers live in a car or skip eating. This happens In America. Today. In the richest country in the world. A country that puts a dollar value on a human being to dehumanize fellow citizens as “potential sales leads.” We’re trapped in a system that’s built for us to lose and treats us as assets. You. Me. The poor. The fake rich. The poor who think they’re rich. We’re the losers of capitalism. 

Most people don’t work minimum wage jobs because they enjoy the hours, the work, the customers, or the pay. A lot of people working minimum wage gigs are doing it because they don’t have a choice. It’s either work for $7.25 an hour or completely starve. At least with minimum wage work, poor parents can make sure their kids eat some food even if they themselves can’t afford to eat.

In a country where money is worshiped more than God, it’s time we ensure all Americans earn a livable wage. Because the truth is, most Americans are one missed paycheck away from a financial crisis. One accident from financial ruin. Including you. Americans all across this country are working multiple jobs and pushing insane hours of work to make ends meet. Being alive is too expensive, but it doesn’t have to be.

Published inBlogSurviving America as a Millennial

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