Why Christmas Sucks
Capitalistmas, your favorite holiday of the year.
How much do you love someone?
Well, what did you get her for Christmas?
That hard to get item?
That thing they always wanted?
You loved them so much; you maxed out two credit cards.
Sure, you’re living paycheck to paycheck, but hey, Sally and Billy can’t have a better Christmas than your sweetheart.
My aunt always gave me a receipt with her gift when I was a kid.
“In case I didn’t like whatever she got me, was what she said.
But she was a complete stranger who I knew through photos and forced family interactions on holidays and birthdays.
If she knew me, or actually cared about me as a living thing, she’d know what I liked. All she had to do was talk to me.
Hell, the only other times I’d see her is when she stopped by my house to unknowingly use my mom as an excuse to cheat on her husband.
Oh, look, my dad gave me some cash and sent a card.
Showing up once a year, as a job, not because he wants to.
I guess Santa was real.
.Forced family gatherings.
Gotta show off for my aunts and uncles to make my parents feel good.
A happy family – only on holidays and birthdays.
Sometimes special occasions.
Everyone pretending to give a fuck, but truthfully, everyone was waiting to leave.
No one cared.
Only enough to make it as least awkward as possible.
Counting the moments until they could leave without it being a social violation.
May all your days be merry and bright!
Uncles scolding me about my life choices for the holidays.
Everything I thought was always wrong.
Fall in line.
Obey the men.
Or be made fun of and publicly humiliated by all the men.
Self-righteous, self-important bullshit.
Remember that time you stole $30,000 from my college fund when I was six?
I bet you didn’t think I knew about that.
Or the fact most of the men physically and emotionally abused their spouses.
But it’s okay. I mean, men are the Chosen Ones.
Haven’t you read The Bible?
Or maybe they couldn’t comprehend those parts where it teaches to practice what you preach.
You know, instead of using the Bible as a shield for their terribleness.
If there is a God, I’m quite sure she hates my family.
God isn’t female.
A Goddess wouldn’t stand for half the bullshit in our world today.
I hope your holiday season is full of peace, joy and happiness!
But it’s not all bad.
Christmas lights are magical.
Hit me, Mariah.
Have you ever seen Die Hard?
Or had hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps?
Or said what you really felt this holiday season?